Women, It is in our nature to love wholeheartedly, nurture,
protect, show loyalty & belonging to the one we love even if they're
hurting us & causing us pain & agony, but let me ask you this: why do
you equate love with pain or being humiliated?
1) Was it because I didn't feel loved & cared for enough from my family or from friends that I found myself attached to someone who can compensate?
2) Was I brought up in an abusive & unhealthy atmosphere? Did my dad used to abuse mom or vise versa? Am I used to this pattern of abusive behavior?
3) Do I have low self-esteem that I find myself deserve to be mistreated or humiliated?
It is vital to explore, acknowledge & seek help for whatever the reasons that has led you to this kind of relationships. Otherwise, you'll find yourself bleeding (emotionally & psychologically) from one relationship to another.
Take a pause from
relationships for a while & start first by making the most important
relationship in your life; which is with yourself, surround yourself with good
loving people, & if you can't find; try seeking help & support from a
counselor who can assist you rebuild what is broken within you, either from
your current relationship, or from your childhood traumas. Taking time for
healing is so important.
If you're a strong & mature woman who is still meeting that guy
& planning for marriage, but didn't know that these kinds of relationships
is an abusive one; don't hesitate to terminate this right away, don't say that
you're going change him, because it is not your responsibility to change
anyone, & because this pattern of behavior could be done subconsciously
& needs lots of time & effort to be broken ONLY if the person himself
admit it & start asking for help & seeking change. You might feel angry
and sad & at other times love & regret at the same time when you leave
the abuser; but let me tell you that these feelings are normal.
Anything that feels less than love & respect is not good enough
for you to keep or fight for. Love shouldn’t feel disrespectful, fearful,
belittling, humiliating, or painful. Love is supposed to make you feel better
& helps you move forward & grow even more towards maturity, not to make
you feel bad, gloomy, torn apart.
* If after reading this article found yourself manipulative & turned out to be an abuser; I want to tell you the following:
We all have problems & unresolved internal pain & conflicts,
but we're a growing & learning creatures, denying & escaping from
problems won't resolve it, on the contrary you'll find yourself hurt even more
because you'll always be in the middle of fights & broken relationships. I
encourage you to stop running away from yourself, put your feet on the first ladder
of healing & go seek help from a professional counselor who will help you
to face whatever you're not able to face alone by yourself & bring these
blind spots within you into the light of knowledge & recovery. & I
assure you that you'll experience this taste of freedom & stability once
you find yourself winning over your own internal battles, & not over
others.
I pray for you "Victim" of an abusing relationship that
you feel & experience how you're loved & worth to be loved
unconditionally, to be accepted & respected & to be treated with
dignity, I pray that you have the courage for once in your life to end this
destructive & humiliating relationship for good, to be healed from your
wounds, & to use your scars in helping others knowing their value, as humans
God created in His own likeness & image.
I also pray for you "abuser" to stop this cycle of
addiction of controlling others; to start reconciling with yourself, in order
to experience the sweetness & depth in intimate relationships as God has
intended it to be. In Jesus name. Amen.
*To read all parts from
this series; please click here:
Some helpful Resources:
http://madamenoire.com/521886/emotional-abuse-fixing-life/https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/09/28/5-ways-to-escape-an-abusive-relationship/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/15/trapped-in-an-abusive-relationship/
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